Your Panties

Are those your panties in the laundry room?

 

They’re very nice.

 

And big. Those are nice, big panties. Not TOO big! Not too big that you should get self conscious or develop an eating disorder but big enough to look at the pretty fabric. Oh! It’s marvelous!

 

Small panties: you can’t see the pattern. You can see the pattern if you’re looking at the front but otherwise you can’t see the pattern because there’s not enough fabric on the back of small panties. Small panties are small. And why do panties have that beige interior?

 

Big panties: you can see the entire pattern because it goes all the way around the panties. All around the big panties.

 

UH-OH!! These panties have a lace trim. A sexy, black lace trim! UH-OH!!

 

This panty that you’ve left in the laundry room is purple and magenta and green and it’s paisley and shiny and gorgeous and pretty and wonderful!!

 

And it’s hanging on a hook. Right there.

 

I see it!

 

Hanging on a hook in the laundry room. You should pick it up.

 

They’re your panties. You should pick up your FABULOUS magenta black lace panties because they’re there in the laundry room.

 

Right there in the laundry room. Are those your panties?

 

I see them!

 

Please take your fucking panties out of the laundry room.

 

 

[c] 2006 Russ of America

 

Hey you! Purveyor of fine entertainment! Don’t be a time cheapskate, take a second to Digg, Stumble, ReTweet or otherwise mention this article via I’ve got bills to pay!

Recent Crap:

Subscribe via today!

Leave a Reply