Three Types of Masturbation

February 17th, 2008

Here are three types of masturbation I am familiar with:

Angry Masturbation
“Boy I really push my own buttons – why can’t I just grow up? GRRR!”

Make-up Masturbation
“I hate myself, but I also love myself so much, that I forgive myself! Sex!”

Pity Masturbation
“I’m not the kind of guy I usually want to jerk off, buuuut… I seem pretty hard up lately. And what the hell else am I going to do on a Saturday night? Wash my hair?”

[c] 2008 Russ of America and Corcillo

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