Science deals with facts. Fortunately, I don’t.
The difficult-to-categorize, but extraordinarily brilliant musical group Talking Heads said, “Facts just twist the truth around. Facts are living turned inside-out.” That’s a profound excerpt, I think. As they are have a published opinion on facts, this expert, authoritative citation I’ve quoted is good-enough to support my argument, even if I may have misquoted them or taken their ideas out of context.
I believe in ghosts, UFOs, angels, goblins, sprites, spirits, fairies, poltergeists, leprechauns, chupacabras, space aliens, any kind of loch monster, bigfeet, dragons, children of the corn, the Shining, psychics, necromancy, demonic possession, satanism, witchcraft (light, dark and caramel crunch,) Roman, Greek, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu and Christian gods, The Force, santeria, voodoo, zombies, the occcult, Aleister Crowley, Criss Angel, Teller but not Penn, The Mighty Atom, Hans Christian Anderson, Smurfs, the mythical Soma, Spanish fly, Hulda Clark’s zappicator, the healing power of magnets, homeopathy, hexagonal water, herbal penis enlargement and the legend of menehune.
All of you non-believers need to stop hating on me, you haters. Hatred is bad and it’s totally illegal to hate on me and you are hating with pure hatred streaming out of your hate-filled eyeballs. Why you hating so much, hater? Hatey Haterson. If you don’t believe in any of that stuff you’re just a no-good skeptic and you have no faith. Hater skeptic. You have no faith and I’ll pray for you.
[c] 2008 Russ of America
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