Today as I was doing my upper, middle and lower abdominal exercises, I started to cry because I realized that there were starving children in foreign countries who couldn’t afford to do ab exercises, and as a result, their bellies were all distended and weak, and they were probably suffering from lower back pain.
Nothing makes me sadder than the prospect of children suffering from lower back pain. To me, a child being killed by a drunk driver isn’t as bad as a child who suffers from lower back pain. I think it’s because I figure that running over a child only takes a second, where lower back pain lasts a lifetime. That’s the kind of compassion I embody.
Yes, I’m handsome and compassionate. You’d definitely want to date me, but I’d only dump my current girlfriend for the right person.
[c] 2008 Russ of America
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