Fuck “An Historic”

There’s this bullshit rule in English where if you use the word “historic” you apparently have to use the word “an” before it. Newscasters love to do this as though they are flaunting their English prowess over you. Where it comes up most is in the phrase “This was an historic event.”

 

Seriously? “An historic event”?! This violates every other rule of English that you were taught. If a word begins with a vowel sound, you use “an”. Examples: “It was an honor.” “It was an exciting time.” If the word is preceded by a consonant sound, you would use “a”. Examples: “It was a dog.” “It was a little man.” What the fuck are people saying “an historic event” for? Would I ever say, “The perpetrator was an Hispanic”?! No! He probably WAS an Hispanic, but I wouldn’t say it like that. How about “The salad was an healthy choice.” Fuck that! Sometimes we say “It was an honor” but the word “honor” begins with an “O” sound, not an “H” sound. Historic begins with a H, so be a fucking woman and man and stand up to those dipshit conservative English majors who insist upon nonsensical counter-intuitive English rules such as “an historic.” It’s nonsense!

 

UPDATE: February 26, 2009 – CNN – Anderson Cooper quotes Representative Eliot Engel (D) who says at approx 1:09 of this clip: “In such a historic and wonderful celebration of American democracy… I am sorry he is so jaded.” So jaded? That Anderson Cooper uses “a historic” instead of “an historic”? No, that’s not what the representative said at all, but isn’t it interesting that someone else is bucking that stupid “an historic” convention? Fuck it!!

 

[c] 2008 Russ of America

 

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2 comments

  1. snoski says:

    Thank you so much for this blog. I totally agree with your logic and your exasperation. Ever since Obama has been mentioned as a possible candidate for President, the pretentious pricks in the media have been speculating what “an [sic] historic day” it would be if he were to win. Those pretentious media pricks bred more pretentious pricks until you eventually heard dumb, fat slobs and sorority girls at the local dive bar using the phrase. Now that Obama is finally President, hopefully the antigrammatical onslaught will cease. Oh, if only we could get those snobbish idiots to cease pronouncing homage, “Ohmauzh.” Makes me want to punch them in the face every time. They might as well be saying, “Ooh, I’m so smart, I pronounce words incorrectly.” Enough of that rant, and thanks again!

  2. The Main Man says:

    Thanks for your participation, Snoski. If you have friends who’d enjoy a good larf, please encourage them to visit. I’d love the traffic.

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