How To Put Yourself Out Of My Misery…

“Well, you know, because of the economy…” is the apologetic expression du jour, and I’m not sure if I quite see the dark side of the economy yet with my investments tied up in the flap meat, medical marijuana and vodka markets, but I do know that everybody has been complaining that they can’t find employment or even customers in this economy. But there is good news! According to a local circular, many of the Big 5 stores in Southern California, as of this week, are selling an M91/30 Mosin Nagant bolt-action rifle for $99USD.

 

The economy is a shambles, people are getting laid-off left and right. Thankfully you can blow your head off for $99!

 

So what if you can’t cut it in the corporate world — but dude, you can definitely sink a shot into your grey matter and free up a wanky ball-licker job in the private sector for me, your best pal of America. Thanks for doing the right thing!

 

UPDATE: (Feb 17 2009) Good news! The Mosin Nagant rifle previously on sale for $99 (limit 2) has gone down to $89 (limit 1). “Own a real piece of history” it says. Do you own, or even better, PWN a piece of history yet? Probably not. Buy this rifle and go pwn yourself a piece of history, lone wolf. Big 5 needs you to act now. You understand what’s being asked of you, right? No delays.

 

Go out and pwn yourself a piece of history.

 

 

[c] 2009 Russ of America

 

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