HOLY SHIT MY TWITTER IS DOWN!

HOLY SHIT FOLKS, MY TWITTER IS DOWN!

 

I can’t access my Twitter or send a tweets AT ALL! I don’t know what is going on but the WHOLE SYSTEM IS FUCKED and I’m locked out of the Twitters! I’ve tried from two different computers and two different browsers but I can’t log in so I can’t tell you what’s been happening in my life! I’ve blown out the cookies on both computers just in case, but it didn’t do anything.

 

This has been going on for almost 24 hours. It’s ridiculous! Not just today, but yesterday it was going on too! So for two days (yesterday and today) I haven’t been able to tweet about anything!

 

When I go to Twitter and I try to log in the site tells me “Something is technically wrong. Thanks for noticing—we’re going to fix it up and have things back to normal soon.” The site tells me this, but it doesn’t tell me when it’s going to be fixed or what the problem is or if there was anything that I did to cause it.

 

I went to the Twitter status page but there’s no mention of any problems in the last few days, so whatever is causing this problem Twitter probably doesn’t even know about it yet because there’s no mention of it in their status update thing. That really bothers me because it means that it’s going to keep me out and it’s going to prevent everybody from knowing my tweets.

 

Anyway, in case anybody was worried about me and was curious why I hadn’t done a tweet message in the last 24 hours it’s because I CANNOT because Twitter is saying that something is wrong with my account when I try to log into the account (mine.) Don’t worry, because I can still find my page and my links to all of the people I follow and I can check on each of you to make sure that you’re okay.

 

I will post some of my tweets here just in case, so you can know what I’m doing and so you don’t miss anything. Sorry in advance that the formatting may not be perfect, but I’m in a pickle here. As soon as my account is back up again you can continue to Follow me on the Twitter website! again and you can see all of the perfect formatting just like you’re used to it at Twitter, okay?

 

Here is where all of my temporary Twitter posts (tweets) will be for now until I can work out this trouble with the support team.

 

March 23 2009 @ 6:10pm:
Finished a blog post about how I cannot access Twitter because something is wrong with my login info or something and twitter isn’t helping.

 

March 23 2009 @ 6:17pm:
Had a friend fill out a service request on the Twitter website on my behalf. Not sure if that’s better than sending the email to support tho

 

March 23 2009 @ 6:18pm:
Settling down for a cold diet coke, some orville redenbacher and some television like tim and eric awesome show

 

March 23 2009 @ 6:29pm:
Bit into a popcorn kernel and it kind of hurt. LOL i wanted to call it a popcorn colonel ’cause he conquered my mouth! hahaha! PWNAGE hahah!

 

March 23 2009 @ 6:31pm:
still can’t log into Twitter. I keep trying just in case but I doubt that anything is going to change w/o intervention

 

March 23 2009 @ 6:32pm:
tried logging in on my other computer again just in case but nothing sorry. Come here if you want to get the latest tweets

 

March 23 2009 @ 7:17pm:
No LOLz here: I’m eating Corn Nuts & they R stale. New pack, not opened/expired. Filipino cornnick is way better!

 

March 24 2009 @ 5:31pm:
Still no LOLz: Twitter still broken & nobody @ Twitter cares that my Twitter is broken & I can’t send Tweets & everyone’s worried i’m dead.

 

March 24 2009 @ 11:08pm:
Listening to Hall&Oates wondering when these shitpiss Twitter goons will fix my shit. Fix the shit, you shitpiss goons! Fix!

 

March 25 2009 @ 3:23am:
Twitter hates my fuckin’ guts! They’ve locked me out and I can’t get in and nobody knows I’m alive ‘cuz ‘fuck me to hell, I’m dead!

 

March 25 2009 @ 1:08pm:
Twitter hasn’t even assigned my serv req to a rep yet. I’m doomed. Pls don’t forget about me, everyone! I’m not dead!

 

March 25 2009 @ 1:11pm:
doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, I’m doomed.

 

March 25 2009 @ 1:12pm:
All of the people who follow me are totally going to forget me! I’ll have to start the friendships over from scratch, Twitter! Help! PLZ!!!!

 

March 25 2009 @ 4:09pm:
w/Twitter hating me I had to go to the public liberry to feel like I was making a human connection. Weird greasy people here. Yuks. fix fixx!

 

March 25 2009 @ 6:20pm:
Liberry suck’d&was loud&dirty&the twitter case still hasnt’ gone anywhere they’re not listening to me & I’ll never get it back sighhhh

 

March 26 2009 @ 12:23pm:
One of my followers mine requested that his followers launch a DDoS against Twitter. Serves them right. But he only knows 20 people. Shit!

 

March 26 2009 @ 12:40pm:
Facebook friends nagging me to update Tweets. See Twitter-Jerks? You can’t leave people hanging for 3+ days. There are real consequences!

 

March 26 2009 @ 9:17pm:
Ain’t this about a motherfucker. I’m back.

 

March 26 2009 @ 9:27pm:
Fuck you Twitter. Almost 4 days with no response to support request. Fuck you. Resetting my PW worked, no thanks to your fucker asses.

 

March 26 2009 @ 9:30pm:
Extra Thx to Marcus Piller a user at getsatisfaction.com who pitched the PW reset idea.Thanks Marcus. Fuck you up the ass,Twitter HelpDesk!!

 

March 26 2009 @ 9:35pm:
Not that it matters. All of my friends are gone. They’ve forgotten me. I have to start from scratch, Twitter Help Desk! From scratch!

 

March 26 2009 @ 9:38pm:
My last post here: Out of great enmity for Twitter, I’m not going to withdraw my HD request or send follow-up email. Suits the jerks right.

 

April 2 2009 @ 2:15am:
I’m no longer having trouble logging into Twitter, but wanted to mention that my helpdesk tickets are still open and unassigned 8 days later

 

April 6 2009 @ 11:28am:
2wks later, get auto-reply from Twitter HD: “We’re backlogged.” Wish I spoke another language so I could curse them out passionately.

 

April 6 2009 @ 11:29am:
“MARATCH VERKOSH ARA MEECH DOQHOZI TWITTER HELP DESK VATASH LAJUNE BARACH CHADRAMIJAQ 2 WEEK NERA MODDERBATCH COCK THE SUCKER!”

 

April 7 2009 @ 12:32pm:
Finally got a response from Charles at Twitter.

    Hi Russ,
    It appears that you have successfully logged into your account again. Please let us know if you continue to experience further issues. Thanks!

 

ASSHOLE MODDERBATCH! WHERE IS MY JUSTICE?!

 

 

[c] 2009 Russ of America

 

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