Built-In Undiepants

Know what I love about swim trunks?






What a great idea! They build undiepants right into swim trunks! They always have, haven’t they? Now, I’ll admit that this component is one of the reasons I never liked borrowing a friend’s swim trunks when I was a kid.

    “Russ of America, do you want to go swimming with the boys?”
    “No. I didn’t bring a bathing suit.”
    “That’s okay, you can borrow Brian’s. He’s a little smaller than you, but they should fit.”
    “Eew!” I’d say. “The parts that my bathing suit covers are going to touch the bathing suit which cover the parts that HIS bathing suit covers. Eew! And because Brian is smaller than me, they’re going to touch me even deeper in my bathing suit parts! Eew!”

Fair enough! You should never be forced to share pants with another person anyway. But otherwise, what a great idea! Why can’t all pants have this stuff built in? Think of how much you’d save on undiepants. You could have one style of pants for dudes who like boxers, one style for dudes who like briefs, boxer-briefs, jock straps, girdles, banana hammocks… whatever! Even granny webbing or boy short webbing or itty-bitty thongy webbing for girly pants! Bing!


Okay, I’ll admit that maybe it’s a little inefficient for clothing manufacturers to have to make fifteen different styles of pant based on different cuts of that webbing. Fair enough! So why not sell a bunch of different styles of undiepants made from that awesome webbing? That stuff is fan-freaking-tastic! It’s light, it’s breezy, it’s supportive and it feels nice against your fully waxed genitals. I’d love to challenge fashion designers like RayRayUSA to take some initiative and start making some sexy fashions happen with this versatile and awesome swimsuit webbing!


Fair enough?



[c] 2009 Russ of America



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  1. Nicks says:


    You are the cutest man on earth.

  2. The Main Man says:

    I like to have a good time.

  3. RayRay says:

    I’ve thought about doing Undiethongs for a while… I just can’t wrap my brain around the logistics of it.

  4. The Main Man says:

    How about a zipper? Different sized undiethongs at different depths for different crotches. All zippable into a stretchieband around the inside of the pants? I dunno.

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