Archive for October 2009

A Heavily Redacted Halloween

Ah, Halloween! As far as I’m concerned, it’s the purest of all the holidays, because it doesn’t matter who you are or what god you believe in; If you’re a kid and you’re dressed up real cute in Halloween gear, you’re gonna get some candy. It’s the only time of year when people really DO give without any expectation of something in return, whether it be cranberry sauce, pastel candies, flowers or gifts. But, like most other holidays, there is a heavy commercial presence. Costumes are store-bought and many are licensed from comic books, movies and books as you will see below. I wanted to help celebrate the awesome joy of Halloween, but I also wanted to protect the identities of the children involved and avoid any legal hassles from sharpshooter corporate legal teams. So I’m redacting the faces of the kids as well as all trademarked logos and images.


Happy Halloween!


Awww! The kid on the far right is hilarious with his goofy smile. He’s not wearing his mask, which could be problematic for this crime-fighting arachnid, but he really is cute! In the middle is a basketball player for the ********* *********. Going by the large 23 on his jersey he’s obviously ****** *****. I have no idea who the kid on the left is supposed to be. I’ve redacted the back of her head because certain characteristics could cause her to be identified.

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World’s First Email Volley – 1971

Happy 40th birthday, Internet!


For all you technophiles, here is a copy of the first email volley ever written. These five email messages were hacked out in 1971 and sent across the fledgling Arpanet. And while Internet lore suggests that Roy Tomlinson may have been involved, this cannot be proven in a court of law, so we’ll assume that he had nothing to do with these exchanges.


Click to view the large version.




[c] 2009 Russ of America


Office Worker And The BossMan


Click To View Full Version



[c] 2009 Russ of America


Cute Roundish Stick Figures



[c] 2009 Russ of America


Alfred Hitchcock Presents

Legendary director Alfred Hitchcock presents his greatest motion picture spectacle.



[c] 2009 Russ of America and Ron Corcillo


Answers To Your Jackoff Queries 5

The world’s most popular search engines send me tons of visitors who have tons of jackoff-related questions. Here are more examples of their helpless queries and my helpful replies:


Q: can i jackoff into your ass
R: No.


Q: how to suppress urge to jackoff
R: Try rubberbands.


Q: how to jackoff more than once
R: That’s easy — Jerk off a second time.


Q: can you get skinny if you jack off alot Read more

Tyler Connor Hunter Dylan

In the future a douchebag family will name their kid Tyler-Connor Hunter-Dylan.



A fun game I play: When I’m in a very crowded place with lots of families (Disneyland and such) I like to randomly shout out “Tyler!” “Connor!” “Hunter!” or “Dylan!” just to see how many people turn to look, thinking that I’m calling them.



[c] 2009 Russ of America


Clara And Pearl v1


Via voicemail, Pearl confides all of her life secrets to Clara, who may or may not care.



[c] 2009 Russ of America