Recently, former Alaskan Governor and future presidential wannabe Sarah Palin was spotted in Hawaii wearing a 2008 McCain presidential campaign visor with McCain’s name blacked-out. “Incognito,” Palin said, was the look she was going for. Because there’s nothing visually peculiar about a woman with a giant blotch of magic marker on her hat, right? Nothing that would make you do a double-take and ask, “What the fuck does that shit say?” And it’s not like Hawaii has any gift shops where a wealthy, famous person could buy a new visor or anything. But she wasn’t dissing John McCain — that’s a fact. When *I* cross out the names of *my* friends, it’s cool because I’m from the WEST side and you’re probably from the EAST side and we both do things differently, right?
Anyhow, I’m not certain Ms. Palin knows what incognito means, so I will take it upon myself to help elucidate through sarcasm, satire and condescending language.
If Palin had completed her first term as Governor of Alaska, it’s conceivable that her undercover state troopers would be super incognito driving this:
And undercover Juneau Police officers might look like this:
“I’m just a regular man in a solid-black outfit driving a regular Crown Victoria with decals of mountains on it….
KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM! GET ON THE GROUND! DO IT NOW!” [taze taze taze]
And if Mayan doomsday predictions don’t come to fruition and we’re all alive in 2012 to vote for Palin, what might her cryptographic presidential correspondences look like?
And finally, I’m a helpful lad, so here are two disguise recommendations for Sarah Palin’s Project Incognito. How about this attractive visor?
See? It says quite clearly that you are NOT going rogue, so nobody would assume that you are Sarah Palin. And then there’s my favorite:
Palin hates varmints, right?
[c] 2009 Russ of America
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