Tag Archive for 1980s

Revive Five!

Five is an art lost to time.

 

Five.

 

I loved Five.

 

The act of giving another person five.

 

Five what?

 

Five fingers. Nobody does that anymore. Do you remember when we used to give each other Five? I remember it. Five was ALIVE! We were alive with Five!

 

Now people give each other daps and macho half hugs, but no Five. What happened to Five? Did someone take away Five? Did Bill Cosby say that we had to get rid of Five because it was demeaning to Blacks? Did Jesse Jackson say that Five was against Jesus? Did OJ say that Five killed Nicole Brown?

 

What happened to Five?

 

Sometimes an old white guy will make you give him a high five.

 

“Alright! Gimme High Five, Russ of America!”
“Fuck you and fuck High Five! I want REGULAR Five. Regular brand-name horizontal Five. One for you and then one in return for me. Nothing fancy. No tricks. Five. Traditional, 1970s Pimp Five.”

 

“Here you go my good sir! Please allow me to impart upon you, five.”
“Five of what?”
“Five of Fingers!”
“Ah, thank you my good man! Five of Fingers for me! I need Five of Fingers! Why, just this morrow I ran right out of Five of Fingers! Thank you my fine chap! I am in receipt of your generous Five and I should be honored to reciprocate your hospitality by returning to you a Special Five from my Private Collection as I am prepared to do this very moment.”

 

You don’t get that anymore. You just don’t get True Five.

 

Sometimes I see parents teach their children how to give Five; in many cases before the child learns her ABCs. But the tradition will end with the children and be banished to the textbooks of urban anthropology —

 

Unless we Revive Five!

 

 

[c] 2006 Russ of America