I’m embarrassed to say that this past week was the first time I’d ever been to Las Vegas. The trip was long overdue, but I can explain: I don’t usually do well in dense crowds and I lost the taste for gambling at the age of 16 after getting hustled by some unconscionable grown-up asshole running a 3 Card Monte racket at a Jack In The Box in Agoura, CA.
My summary: Las Vegas is a lot like Sylvia Browne: Smoky, musty, dusty, dry, fake, smelly, trashy & it wants to steal all of your money.
[pause for laughter]
Ah, the city that never sleeps. Wait, that’s New York. Oh, the city of lights? Hm, I guess that’s Paris. Well, whatever they call Las Vegas, I was there and I had a lovely time with my generous bebbeboo, who staged us in a really comfortable, attractive suite at the Monte Carlo. It’s odd that such a nice, costly room would be managed by a lazy staff. The front desk goons were crabby assholes. We were told with no apology that … Click Here to Read On! …
What the hell is that nasty freezer smell? I know it can’t be food because for the first 2 years after purchasing my brand new refrigerator I didn’t use the freezer for anything except for a big bag of ice that sat there for 2 years, and to make the occasional ice cubes in an ice cube tray. In that span of time, you could totally smell that freezer smell inside the freezer. Weird. And then I stopped making ice cubes for a while (it was winter) but I’d left the trays inside of the freezer. When I tried making ice cubes again, they were fucking horrible! Nasty! Weirdly pungent but not quite in a rotten meat way. Like, ultimate stale smell or something. I threw out the cubes and put the trays back in the freezer because I had nowhere else to put them, then began using the freezer a little more normally over the next few years.
This past weekend my bebbeboo saw that I was about to throw out the ice trays and she asked me why. I explained that it was because they smelled like freezer and you can’t get that smell out. She said that all I had to do was wash ‘em, and so she starts washing ‘em. With soap and everything! When she was done, she took a big sniff, yelled “EEEEWW!!” and threw the trays in the recycling bag.
