The world’s most popular search engines send me tons of visitors who have tons of jackoff-related questions. Here are more examples of their helpless queries and my helpful replies:
Q: can i jackoff into your ass
R: No.
Q: how to suppress urge to jackoff
R: Try rubberbands.
Q: how to jackoff more than once
R: That’s easy — Jerk off a second time.
If you ever have a dream where you’re entering a restroom, I’m telling ya, this is an official admonishment: DO NOT GO INTO THE RESTROOM, because I guarantee that you’ll wake up soaked in piss. I can’t stress this enough if you sleep with another human being in your bed. DON’T GO IN! WAKE THE FUCK UP!!
