Tag Archive for bromidic lyrics

Heart Attack



RUSS: [on drums] Hey, so guys, I just wrote a new song and I’m pretty proud about it and I thought that maybe we could run through it a couple of times.
OMID: [on guitar] Cool, let’s hear it.
RUSS: Well, I don’t have any music for it yet — all I have are the words and lyrics. But I wrote most of it last night and I started thinking that it really has potential — With the right melody, and if we were to record it, and get some funding and a little distribution, we could probably get it out there and I don’t think we’d have any problem getting it played on KROQ or whatever.
JOHN: [on bass] Okay, well I’m sure we could come up with something. What’s the tempo?
RUSS: It’s a slower-tempo song. Kinda like this [plays drums]
GAM: [on guitar] A ballad? That’s an interesting choice for a debut song.
RUSS: Well it doesn’t have to be the debut necessarily, but since we weren’t recording anything…
JOHN: That’s a pretty slow beat. [plays bassline at double-time] How’s this?
RUSS: That’s a good riff. I dunno if it’ll work for the song though. I’ve never written a song this way before — what’s the best way to do this?
GAM: Well maybe you could read the lyrics and once we get a sense for the melody, then we could throw together some tunes.
RUSS: Just read the song?
OMID: Yeah, just do the beat, then read the first line and we’ll start working around it.
RUSS: Okay. [plays drums] “I gotta say that I love you girl…”
OMID: That’s an A-minor. Hang on. Take two. Start the beat again and we’ll do this in A-minor.
RUSS: I don’t know how to play the drums in A-minor — do I have to do anything special?
GAM: No, you just have to sing the lyrics once we get a handle on the melody. We’ll work through it in A-minor.




    Words and Lyrics by Russ Carney of America
    copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved


    I gotta say that I love u girl,
    U’re the greatest in the whole wide world.
    I wanna hold u in my loving arms
    And feel the warmth of ur tender charms.


    Can’t u see that I’m on my knees,
    I want to be with u forever, please.
    Cuz I really want to be with u,
    I wanna spend my whole life with u


    I don’t really know just what I’d do
    If I couldn’t spend my life with u
    I really need to learn just how to act
    This kind of love is like a heart attack.


    I don’t really know just what I’d do
    If I couldn’t spend my life with u
    I really need to learn just how to act
    This kind of love is like a heart attack.


    Dope! With a positive connotation
    I’m loving u with the sweet imagination
    Give you all my loving and u know that I’ll be strong
    If u let me love u girlie, all night long.
    I want to take u to my private hide-away
    And I have only one more thing to say
    When I hold you close to me and take u in my arms
    I feel ur tender charms, baby all night long!


    [REPEAT 1st VERSE]
    [FADE OUT]

JOHN: [stops playing abruptly] I’m sorry… I’m sorry man. I just can’t play this.
[the other instruments begin to fizzle out too]
OMID: Yeah, me neither.
RUSS: What? What’s wrong?
GAM: Dude — This song fucking sucks.
RUSS: What?
GAM: It… fucking… sucks!
RUSS: What are you talking about?
OMID: Your song is lame. The beat is lame, the music is lame…
RUSS: Well YOU guys wrote the music.
JOHN: You know what we mean.
RUSS: No I don’t! Don’t tell me that I know what you mean. You said that the music sucked, but I didn’t write the music. I wrote the words and lyrics.
OMID: The lyrics are lame. Very fucking lame.
JOHN: [trying to be nice] They really are bad.
RUSS: What’s wrong with my words and lyrics?
GAM: I don’t know if you know what the word “bromidic” means, but the lyrics are bromidic.
OMID: Trite. It means basically the same thing as trite. Amateurish…
JOHN: Hackneyed. Cliché. Totally WACK!
GAM: Wiggity wack.
OMID: Like a heart attack.
GAM: [to Omid] That was good. I liked the tie in there.
RUSS: You guys don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.
JOHN: You rhymed arms with charms.
OMID: And girl with world; knees and please.
GAM: Dude, you put a fucking rap breakdown in a love ballad. What is this, the 80s? We’re in the 21st Century for Christ’s Sake. Were you thinking to yourself, gee, this song really needs a little of LL Cool J’s “I Need Love”
RUSS: Are you kidding? That rap is sweet!
OMID: No. It’s horrible. It’s absolutely horrible!
GAM: Are you even aware that you told us that you wrote the words and lyrics?
RUSS: Yes, so? I did write them.
GAM: Do you know that in the context of a song, the words *are* the lyrics?
RUSS: Sure.
JOHN: I don’t think you do.
OMID: No, he definitely doesn’t understand that.
RUSS: Look guys, fuck this shit. Man. I don’t need this shit. You guys can go fuck yourself. You never let me contribute anything to the group, and when I do, all you can do is fucking pick on me and tear apart my work. Well fuck you John, and Fuck You Omid, and fuck *YOU* Michael. I don’t need any of you, and you’re all FIRED! You’re all out of the band! [storms out of the studio.]


[everybody looks around somewhat somberly]


JOHN: He was a pretty shitty drummer.
OMID: Yeah, totally. And did he kick three people out of a four-person band? Can you do that?
GAM: I don’t think so. This is *my* garage. So shall we get back to jamming?


[They start playing again; the song they play sucks about as bad as Heart Attack.]



[c] 2008 Russ of America