Now that some fast food chains have begun to post nutritional info on their menus, I’ve noticed that I’ve been making different, healthier choices. When I go to Subway, for example, I don’t get the tuna anymore, because it’s easily got TWICE the calories of a turkey breast sandwich. WHAT THE LIVING SHIT, TUNA?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND! IT’S THAT GODDAMNED JERK MAYONNAISE YOU’RE ALWAYS HANGING OUT WITH!
As other fast food venues deliver nutritional facts, or as I like to call it “harsh reality” to their customers, I believe we’ll eventually find that we ALL make better choices. And when that happens, those emergency visits to McDonald’s will be like taking steps down a nutritional walk of shame.
“Uh, Hi. Yeah. Gimme a Super-Tiny tap water. No ice.”
“Okay, so you want a Super-Tiny tap water, no ice. Would you like a saltine with that?”
“OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST NO!”
“That’ll be zero dollars at the second window.”
[c] 2011 Russ of America