Tag Archive for children

Frustrating Hilarity: Infant Tee Ball

I attended my Bebbeboo’s nephew’s Tee-Ball game a few weeks ago. The team was comprised of kids 4-7yrs old. I don’t know how to describe the experience other than as “frustrating hilarity”.

 

One tee-ball kid was OCDing over a patch of dirt. I’m pretty sure that he was sorting pebbles alphabetically. Every time my eyes would check up on him, it was obvious that he had zero interest in the game that was going on around him. His dispassion fueled lengthy debates about his commitment to the sport and triggered arguments speculating as to his ability to perform the sport. At some point, because of his intent gaze and furious digging, I became certain that he Read more

A Heavily Redacted Halloween

Ah, Halloween! As far as I’m concerned, it’s the purest of all the holidays, because it doesn’t matter who you are or what god you believe in; If you’re a kid and you’re dressed up real cute in Halloween gear, you’re gonna get some candy. It’s the only time of year when people really DO give without any expectation of something in return, whether it be cranberry sauce, pastel candies, flowers or gifts. But, like most other holidays, there is a heavy commercial presence. Costumes are store-bought and many are licensed from comic books, movies and books as you will see below. I wanted to help celebrate the awesome joy of Halloween, but I also wanted to protect the identities of the children involved and avoid any legal hassles from sharpshooter corporate legal teams. So I’m redacting the faces of the kids as well as all trademarked logos and images.

 

Happy Halloween!

 

Awww! The kid on the far right is hilarious with his goofy smile. He’s not wearing his mask, which could be problematic for this crime-fighting arachnid, but he really is cute! In the middle is a basketball player for the ********* *********. Going by the large 23 on his jersey he’s obviously ****** *****. I have no idea who the kid on the left is supposed to be. I’ve redacted the back of her head because certain characteristics could cause her to be identified.

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A Million O’Clock

Like any kid in the world, my parents put me to bed at a reasonable time, and I threatened to them that when I grew up I’d stay up until a million o’clock and then they’d be sorry!

 

Well after doing a lot of research on Wikipedia, I learned this week that is no million o’clock and I owe my parents a tremendous apology for lying to them.

 

Mom and Dad, I’m sorry, and I hope that you’ll please let me back in the house now. I know that you’ve been divorced for over 20 years, but maybe we can work out a timeshare or something.

 

 

[c] 2009 Russ of America

Baby For Sale

Baby for sale; $24350 obo; 2005 model; runs great, tinted windows; AC; manual trans; lowered; 18″ chrome rims; cd changer w/premium audio; immaculate interior; slight diaper rash. l/m for Kevork — 818-242-48**

 

 

[c] 2006 Russ of America