Tag Archive for cucumbers

Heterosexual Male Assplay Primer

Heterosexual Male Assplay Primer
By Russ Carney of America

 

If you are a sexually active heterosexual man, at some point in your life you will meet a nice young lady who will want to put something in your ass. Most often it’s a finger or two, but it’s quite possible that one day she’ll hint about experimenting with bubble plugs and strap-ons. Uh-whaaaaat?!

 

Unless you had cool parents who gave you “The Talk” about Heterosexual Assplay, you might have reservations about this sort of activity and you might wonder if letting your girlfriend put objects in your butt makes you instantly gay. While I have no first-hand experience, I can assure you, as a bona fide armchair academician, that the answer is NO, or, more honestly, the answer is MAYBE. But let’s not get so hung up on the pink area of maybe, I can help you to define the black and whiteness of Heterosexual Male Assplay. Firstly though I want to mention that Read more

Opium In The Communal Garden

I’ve got a big bucket of compost brewing, 2 catnip plants, some tomatoes, bell peps, cukes, green onions, ficuses, basil, rosemary, lavender, jasmine, some stupid ferns, a couple of spider plants and two philodendrons — I’m a a bloody farmer! And I’d grow opium in the community garden if I thought nobody would swipe it. I’d go out there every morning in my robes, dismount my camel, and toil in the 14’x4′ plot all day, tending to the rows of poppies. Let’s bring heroin back to American soil again! Our two most precious resources, oil and heroin we buy from the middle-east. I’m telling you America, we’ve got to get wise about these things or they will be our undoing…

 

 

[c] 2009 Russ of America