Tag Archive for cunnilingus

Answers To Your Jackoff Queries 3: The Stupid-Ass Edition

Thankfully, I get a lot of visitors to my site who are looking for all things jackoff-related. Unthankfully, there are a lot of really stupid people out there who are asking really stupid questions and who don’t quite know how a search engine works. I dunno. Anyway, I’m not trying to be a techno-elitist, so here are my favorite recent jackoff queries, with an emphasis on the stupid-ass queries.

 

Q: how to jackoff with g-string
R: Beats the hell out of me. Maybe you wrap it around? Seriously, what are you trying to find out?

 

Q: jackoff tips
R: Are you not having any luck jacking off? I’m not sure how you could fail at the jackoff, but in the interest of fostering an honest academic exchange, Read more

400% More Advice Column 1

A loyal reader of 400% More Jackoff Magic has asked me for some advice. He queries:

    Dear Mr. Carney of America,
    If I get really drunk and wake up with a penis in my mouth, am I gay? Yeah, ok, that’s pretty gay, but what if it’s a female penis?

     

    Confused from Oklahoma

Dear Oklahoma,
I want to remind you of legendary Led Zeppelin drummer, John Bonham. He woke up one morning from a night of heavy drinking with a pool of vomit in his mouth. But you know what? Read more