Tag Archive for dog shit

MTA Orange Line Bike Path Dog Shit 2

I’m back, like the Joey Greco of dog shit.


These photos were taken today on the MTA Orange Line Bike Path within a one mile stretch. I made certain not to collect duplicate photos of the last batch of dog shit I took in MTA Orange Line Bike Path Dog Shit 1. I have no idea how to prevent against that in the future though, because there really is a lot of dog shit here. On the other hand, I have no ambitions of becoming a professional dog shit photographer. I just know that I can’t memorize dog shit structures or be bothered to devise an identification system. Anyway, the point of this collection isn’t do document every instance of dog shit, the point is to illustrate how prolific this fucking nonsense is a very small sample area. I took 6 photos today and turned my nose up at about five other specimens [play on words intended.] The clusters I passed were either not interesting enough; or they were too dry; or I was too lazy; or one of them was cat shit; or I’d suddenly realized that I was taking photos of dog shit, got horribly embarrassed and rode away.


Dry and unappetizing like an old Hostess Cup Cake:


This one is flat like an old beer.


This shit cluster was dropped in a hurry. No attention to art.


I think this says something. It’s almost musical in its delivery.
A turd is right here; Some more over there.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-BA, ba-BA-ba-ba-bah.


Vietcong shit. Lurking. Three clicks deep. Waiting for Joe.


This one is fresh. I feel like I almost caught the motherfucker who left it.
You can almost hear the flies smacking their lips greedily at this moist chunk.


You know my motto: Keep it Moist!



[c] 2009 Russ of America

MTA Orange Line Bike Path Dog Shit

A short and sweet refresher course for bike path patrons and specifically for dog owners:

    1) The bike lane is for bicycles.
    2) The pedestrian lane is for walking.
    3) There is no dog shit lane.

Here are two of FOUR examples of dog shit I saw today just in the 1/2 mile between Hazeltine and Woodman:



People rarely get incensed by this sort of inconsiderate, selfish, rude, hazardous behavior unless they envision the elderly and children coming into contact with it. Fortunately for you, within 30 seconds of my decision to document another example of dog shit on the Orange Line, an elderly man pushing his grandchild in a stroller passed by me, directly in the path of the dog shit hazard. Are you incensed yet?



Don’t worry, since it was God’s will that these two creatures should be in the dog shit lane at the correct time for me to take the photo and thus make my point, His Greatness spared Grandpa and baby the indignity of stepping/rolling in dog shit. Here, look: (That’s grandpa and baby in the distance.)



What’s the solution? Signs? People don’t read signs.
Dog shit bags and trash cans? Yeah, like there’s any funding for that.
Ask the police to ticket these assholes? Perhaps, but how? Via surveillance helicopter? Undercover as fake pedestrians?


The only solution is that neighborhood mercenaries get together, hide in the sagebrush, leap out to boo the offenders and pelt them with rocks. Spare the dog, she probably hates her owner too. And please remember to pick up the rocks afterward.



[c] 2009 Russ of America
Extra special thanks to God for his contribution to this article.