Tag Archive for drought

California Stateland Security


This is Russ of America, Pharaoh of California, speaking to you, my dear citizens of California. Or potentially to you, my dear potential visitors of California.


I’m always thinking of new ways to serve this state, the best state out of all of the states in the United States of American states. I’ve noticed a trend over the last few decades — California has become needlessly congested. Gridlocked traffic on the freeway at 1 o’clock in the morning is inexcusable! The other day I was watching a rerun of the 1970s television program CHiPs and I noticed that Ponch and Jon only had to deal with, like, 8 cars on the entire freeway at any given time. But today, our freeways are clogged virtually every moment of the day. As a result: California is now forced to institute a Read more

Green Earth Tip #7

Getting water to major metropolitan areas such as Los Angeles is no joke. It requires a big, old, failing infrastructure, pushed to its limits with the influx of new dreamy-eyed residents into Southern California each year. To make matters worse, SoCal wants to be a desert. That’s its natural state. So it’s no surprise that residents are experiencing the panic and discomfort of its perpetual drought. Naturally, our state leaders wait until June to amp up awareness and pepper the airwaves with water conservation PSAs in a futile hope that people will realize how serious our annual water shortage is and then cooperate. Of course, by June it’s Read more

Answers To Your Jackoff Queries 1



My name is Russ of America and I run a humor blog that was once called 400% More Jackoff Magic. You may have heard of me from such blogs as this one. I’ve been doing a little research on my blog statistics recently, (a self-indulgent marketing activity practiced by most bloggers,) and I noticed some trends in the kinds of queries people are entering into search engines. To be more helpful to my visitors, and to potentially encourage them to read more of the crass, puerile, sardonic, pseudo-intellectual humor I’ve written on this site, I thought I might invest a few moments to address some of your interests.


Here are some of the top search queries and my helpful responses.