Tag Archive for english

Silly Rabbit Highschools 4 Kids

Highschools might be 4 kids, but a little room should be left for the writer of this congratulatory message:

 

 

I wonder what the cheerleaders look like at Silly Rabbit High…

 

 

[c] 2009 Russ of America

 

Fuck “An Historic”

There’s this bullshit rule in English where if you use the word “historic” you apparently have to use the word “an” before it. Newscasters love to do this as though they are flaunting their English prowess over you. Where it comes up most is in the phrase “This was an historic event.”

 

Seriously? “An historic event”?! This violates every other rule of English that you were taught. If a word begins with a vowel sound, you use “an”. Examples: “It was an honor.” “It was an exciting time.” If the word is preceded by a consonant sound, you would use “a”. Examples: “It was a dog.” “It was a little man.” What the fuck are people saying “an historic event” for? Would I ever say, “The perpetrator was an Hispanic”?! No! He probably WAS an Hispanic, but I wouldn’t say it like that. How about “The salad was an healthy choice.” Fuck that! Sometimes we say “It was an honor” but the word “honor” begins with an “O” sound, not an “H” sound. Historic begins with a H, so be a fucking woman and man and stand up to those dipshit conservative English majors who insist upon nonsensical counter-intuitive English rules such as “an historic.” It’s nonsense!

 

UPDATE: February 26, 2009 – CNN – Anderson Cooper quotes Representative Eliot Engel (D) who says at approx 1:09 of this clip: “In such a historic and wonderful celebration of American democracy… I am sorry he is so jaded.” So jaded? That Anderson Cooper uses “a historic” instead of “an historic”? No, that’s not what the representative said at all, but isn’t it interesting that someone else is bucking that stupid “an historic” convention? Fuck it!!

 

[c] 2008 Russ of America

Ãčçêńŧ

If you work in an English or Irish pub in America, you probably get better tips if you have some kind of accent.

 

Just not Mexican.

 

 

[c] 2008 Russ of America

Life’s Euphemisms Decoded

He’s indisposed = He’s taking a shit
Morning constitutional = morning shit
She’s an old soul = she’s cantankerous for her age
He’s got a big personality = he’s an asshole
She’s no longer with us = she got fired / she died

 

 

[c] 2006 Russ of America