Tag Archive for fat

Green Earth Tip #8

8)
Winter’s coming, and you know what that means, don’t you genius? It means that it’s gonna get cold. I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself for not having known that winter = cold.

 

This year, instead of being a Greedy Gus** and wasting precious coal and gas and oil and electricity to heat your ridiculously huge McMansion or whatever tiny shithole you live in, why not just suck it up and Read more

Sit-Com Laws (A)

If a sit-com character is from Sweden, his or her name must be Sven, Inga, Ingrid or Ingmar. It’s the law.

 

If a Latina appears in a sit-com as a subordinate character, she is likely to be a model or a cleaning lady. Regardless of her profession, her name will be something like Juanita, Lupe, Pilar, Hilda or Maria. If it is a man, his name will be Jesus, Juan, Eduardo or Jose. It’s the law.

 

Black people must be doctors, executives or lawyers. Their names will no longer be Leroy, Rastus or Buckwheat. It’s the law.

 

If there is a fat, dopey protagonist, his wife needs to be really hot and smart. Sarcastic and cynical is a plus. It’s the law.

 

An elderly woman should be either Read more