Tag Archive for government

McDonald’s 2011

Now that some fast food chains have begun to post nutritional info on their menus, I’ve noticed that I’ve been making different, healthier choices. When I go to Subway, for example, I don’t get the tuna anymore, because it’s easily got TWICE the calories of a turkey breast sandwich. WHAT THE LIVING SHIT, TUNA?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND! IT’S THAT GODDAMNED JERK MAYONNAISE YOU’RE ALWAYS HANGING OUT WITH!

 

As other fast food venues deliver nutritional facts, or as I like to call it “harsh reality” to their customers, I believe we’ll eventually find that we ALL make better choices. And when that happens, those emergency visits to McDonald’s will be like taking steps down a nutritional walk of shame.

    “Uh, Hi. Yeah. Gimme a Super-Tiny tap water. No ice.”
    “Okay, so you want a Super-Tiny tap water, no ice. Would you like a saltine with that?”
    “OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST NO!”
    “That’ll be zero dollars at the second window.”
    “Thank yooooooou.

[c] 2011 Russ of America

 

You’re Nuts, State of California

The entity known as The State of California is nuts. They’re mad at me because, I guess, in 2008 I didn’t declare my tax refund as income. I’m not sure how it qualifies as income. I didn’t have to work for it. I didn’t have to hustle or fight for it. I just typed in some numbers and they sent me a bunch of money. That qualifies as income? How do I do it again? Is there a website I can go to where I can keep typing in numbers and the State of California will send me more income? I don’t mind. It took me about an hour to file my taxes and they sent me a cool thousand bucks. I’d DEFINITELY do that again.

 

I call The State of California nuts because Read more

GM Auto Bailout Restructure Plan

Dear GM and Other Dying American Auto Companies,

 

I know you didn’t hire me, but this is a freebie. KNX1070 recently broadcast that GM offered a shit ton of stock to the government in exchange for picking up the tab on half of your debt while you guys restructure. I balance this latest news against decades of bad news stories surrounding your company: Plant closures, auto-worker strikes, etc. My age long impression of GM is that it is constantly struggling to survive and keep its employees employed, almost for the sake of keeping them employed. What the hell would the government want with an epic fail car company?

 

I’m neither an economist nor a auto-enthusiast. I’m a consumer and a humor writer, and my only two qualifications to write this is that I’m literate and that I made a conscious choice a few years back to NOT buy a GM product. So here are my recommendations to you GM, and in fact to ALL American automobile companies in a similar boat, and I guess to the US Government who may or may not soon be half partners with Godawful Mess. So let’s start with the idea that you are able to land your favored deals with the government for bailout. Now what?

 

* Cut the bloat! A bad economy should encourage competitive labor. Salary caps for brain-dead jobs regardless of the Read more

Cartels “Competely Out Of Hand” – Boycott Foreign Narcotics Already!

President Barack Obama of America recently said, Mexican cartels are “completely out of hand.”

 

I could write a whole thingy about Mexican cartels, but everything you need to know is found at this blog post I wrote weeks ago! I agree with whatever our beloved president of America currently says re: foreign narcotics! And further, I’m encouraging you to do your fucking part and BOYCOTT FOREIGN NARCOTICS already! Insist ONLY upon domestically grown narcotics, fight a good war on terror and drugs, support our domestic economy, get honest American drug dealers back on the streets and do your part to bring up America! Join The Foreign Narcotics Boycott Facebook Group if you want to meet individuals who share your enlightened perspective!

 

 

[c] 2009 Russ of America

 

NORAD Tracks Santa



 

Yes, ha ha ha… a happy annual event put on by the United States military… ha ha ha… Fun, frolic and merriment! ha ha ha…

 

Each year the United States Federal Government, fueled by the holiday spirit, instructs NORAD, The North American Aerospace Defense Command, to uses its highly sophisticated electronic war technology to Read more