Tag Archive for hoaxes

Albert Einstein Commands You To “Shout At The Devil!”

A few weeks ago I saw an Albert Einstein quotation meme make the rounds on Facebook. And oh, how delightfully profound it was!


Everything is energy and that's all there is to it.  Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality.  It can be no other way.  This is not philosophy.  This is physics. ~Albert Einstein.

 

Ooh, well, la-di-daaa! Albert Einstein?! Physics, not philosophy?! You mean I was wrong? Shit! Thank you, enlightened Facebook friend for posting that quote!

 

I guess if you can find a super-smart guy saying the thing you already believe, you can really show everybody how stupid they are for not Read more

Old Wives’ Mane

The legend says that if you masturbate, you’ll grow hair on your palms. But what if you wax your bush?

 

 

[c] 2008 Russ of America

Psychic Profiler

Is the “science” of criminal profiling similar to psychic “cold reading”? Seems like they would deal in a similar set of generalizations. “I’m getting the sense that he was a lonely man. Maybe middle-aged. Had trouble keeping girlfriends, but could get them occasionally. I’m picking up on the letter M. Is there a Mary or Margaret or Emily in your family? Yes? She wants me to tell you that everything is okay and that she’s at peace in heaven, God rest her soul, amen.”

 

 

[c] 2008 Russ of America

SCIENCE = SHAM

Science deals with facts. Fortunately, I don’t.

 

The difficult-to-categorize, but extraordinarily brilliant musical group Talking Heads said, “Facts just twist the truth around. Facts are living turned inside-out.” That’s a profound excerpt, I think. As they are have a published opinion on facts, this expert, authoritative citation I’ve quoted is good-enough to support my argument, even if I may have misquoted them or taken their ideas out of context.

 

I believe in ghosts, UFOs, angels, goblins, sprites, spirits, fairies, poltergeists, leprechauns, chupacabras, space aliens, any kind of loch monster, bigfeet, dragons, children of the corn, the Shining, psychics, necromancy, demonic possession, satanism, witchcraft (light, dark and caramel crunch,) Roman, Greek, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu and Christian gods, The Force, santeria, voodoo, zombies, the occcult, Aleister Crowley, Criss Angel, Teller but not Penn, The Mighty Atom, Hans Christian Anderson, Smurfs, the mythical Soma, Spanish fly, Hulda Clark’s zappicator, the healing power of magnets, homeopathy, hexagonal water, herbal penis enlargement and the legend of menehune.

 

All of you non-believers need to stop hating on me, you haters. Hatred is bad and it’s totally illegal to hate on me and you are hating with pure hatred streaming out of your hate-filled eyeballs. Why you hating so much, hater? Hatey Haterson. If you don’t believe in any of that stuff you’re just a no-good skeptic and you have no faith. Hater skeptic. You have no faith and I’ll pray for you.

 

 

[c] 2008 Russ of America