I attended my Bebbeboo’s nephew’s Tee-Ball game a few weeks ago. The team was comprised of kids 4-7yrs old. I don’t know how to describe the experience other than as “frustrating hilarity”.
One tee-ball kid was OCDing over a patch of dirt. I’m pretty sure that he was sorting pebbles alphabetically. Every time my eyes would check up on him, it was obvious that he had zero interest in the game that was going on around him. His dispassion fueled lengthy debates about his commitment to the sport and triggered arguments speculating as to his ability to perform the sport. At some point, because of his intent gaze and furious digging, I became certain that he … Click Here to Read On! …
When I was a kid, this was one of the scariest things on television. I used to hide behind the sofa or run into my bedroom when I heard it.
WTF is that evil-looking P-head man? Why is his nose so razor-sharp? What’s with that big dilated sideways eye? He’s going to nab me! And peck me to death with his knife face! WAAHH!!
Creepy music, too! Scary delay, odd atonal symphony.
Yeeks! I’m getting the chills all over again!
Like any kid in the world, my parents put me to bed at a reasonable time, and I threatened to them that when I grew up I’d stay up until a million o’clock and then they’d be sorry!
Well after doing a lot of research on Wikipedia, I learned this week that is no million o’clock and I owe my parents a tremendous apology for lying to them.
Mom and Dad, I’m sorry, and I hope that you’ll please let me back in the house now. I know that you’ve been divorced for over 20 years, but maybe we can work out a timeshare or something.
Kids can’t wait to be older because they’re convinced that if they can just appear more mature, people will take them seriously and finally listen to them. And let them buy booze. To that end, they’ll do just about anything to appear older and to act older. But it’s getting a little out of hand lately; I’ve begun to see young kids – twelve, thirteen years-old – wearing black socks with shorts. Like an old man. And sometimes with black sandals. What the fuck?!
I understand if you want to look older — but look like my grandfather? Really? Nobody’s gonna fall for that, Black-Sock Boy. You’re missing the gray whiskers and the sporadic memory loss. Okay, maybe just the gray whiskers.
