*I* don’t see what the problem is, but “cunt” is a word nobody in America wants you to use. But I LOVE the word! I think it’s a great serrated, vicious word and it has a very important place in my linguistic arsenal. I tend to use it whenever I need an eye-opening vulgarity. It’s the kind of word that smacks you right across the back of your head. But only if you live in America. People in England apparently use it with virtually no repercussion, “Oh go take a bloody barth, you soppy little cunt!” But in America “cunt” is equivalent to the N-word for women. If you call a woman a cunt, you’re … Click Here to Read On! …
“Did you and Blanca do it?”
“Naw dude, we just scammed.”
“Just scammed? That’s it?”
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t even trying to do anything more than that. I just scammed with her to get back at my ex for scamming with Jose.”
“When did she scam with Jose?”‘
“Right after we broke up, homes. You remember. It was at El Boxer’s party. I mean, we were technically broken up, but it was still bullshit that she scammed with him because he’s a punk-ass. And anyway, Blanca’s older sister came home early so we had to stop.”
“You think you’ll scam on her again?”
“Naw. We’ll just do it. We already had the foreplay.”
I don’t have a whole lot to write about Valentine’s Day, everybody knows it’s a bullshit holiday designed to part men with their money. The greatest contribution I could make to the dialogue, is to emphatically express that I want to beat the shit out of people who pronounce it Valentime’s Day.
During those Valentime’s Days over the years when I didn’t have anyone, it was infuriating to think that women would eagerly date a guy stupid enough to call it Valentime’s Day, while I sat home alone, quietly sobbing into my cat.
There’s this bullshit rule in English where if you use the word “historic” you apparently have to use the word “an” before it. Newscasters love to do this as though they are flaunting their English prowess over you. Where it comes up most is in the phrase “This was an historic event.”
Seriously? “An historic event”?! This violates every other rule of English that you were taught. If a word begins with a vowel sound, you use “an”. Examples: “It was an honor.” “It was an exciting time.” If the word is preceded by a consonant sound, you would use “a”. Examples: “It was a dog.” “It was a little man.” What the fuck are people saying “an historic event” for? Would I ever say, “The perpetrator was an Hispanic”?! No! He probably WAS an Hispanic, but I wouldn’t say it like that. How about “The salad was an healthy choice.” Fuck that! Sometimes we say “It was an honor” but the word “honor” begins with an “O” sound, not an “H” sound. Historic begins with a H, so be a fucking woman and man and stand up to those dipshit conservative English majors who insist upon nonsensical counter-intuitive English rules such as “an historic.” It’s nonsense!
UPDATE: February 26, 2009 – CNN – Anderson Cooper quotes Representative Eliot Engel (D) who says at approx 1:09 of this clip: “In such a historic and wonderful celebration of American democracy… I am sorry he is so jaded.” So jaded? That Anderson Cooper uses “a historic” instead of “an historic”? No, that’s not what the representative said at all, but isn’t it interesting that someone else is bucking that stupid “an historic” convention? Fuck it!!
He’s indisposed = He’s taking a shit
Morning constitutional = morning shit
She’s an old soul = she’s cantankerous for her age
He’s got a big personality = he’s an asshole
She’s no longer with us = she got fired / she died
