Did you ever pass out, then wake up an hour later, realize that you left a load of laundry in the washing machine and that you’ve gotta wait another hour for the dryer to finish drying the clothes because you don’t want wrinkles, so you have to stay up while the dryer dries so you don’t forget to get it, and then you pass out again and wake up at 5 in the morning and go out to the dryer and your clothes are dry and totally cold and you stuff them into a bag and get them back to your house and dump them on the couch and haphazardly spread them out so they don’t wrinkle, but it’s too fucking late because your clothes are totally wrinkled and you’re tired and ready to pass out but you know you’ll never get a good night’s sleep because of all that laundry shit and all the other stress in your life but on top of it your clothes are wrinkled too?! Yeah, that happened to me again tonight.
And big. Those are nice, big panties. Not TOO big! Not too big that you should get self conscious or develop an eating disorder but big enough to look at the pretty fabric. Oh! It’s marvelous!
Small panties: you can’t see the pattern. You can see the pattern if you’re looking at the front but otherwise you can’t see the pattern because there’s not enough fabric on the back of small panties. Small panties are small. And why do panties have that beige interior?
Big panties: you can see the entire pattern because it goes all the way around the panties. All around the big panties.
UH-OH!! These panties have a lace trim. A sexy, black lace trim! UH-OH!!
This panty that you’ve left in the laundry room is purple and magenta and green and it’s paisley and shiny and gorgeous and pretty and wonderful!!
And it’s hanging on a hook. Right there.
I see it!
Hanging on a hook in the laundry room. You should pick it up.
They’re your panties. You should pick up your FABULOUS magenta black lace panties because they’re there in the laundry room.
Right there in the laundry room. Are those your panties?
I see them!
Please take your fucking panties out of the laundry room.
