Ultimate Reality Show Pitch: MACHO MAN


Here’s my pitch for the ultimate reality show: MACHO MAN

 

LAND
* A few dozen guys are thrown into the North American wilderness. Somewhere in the Yukon, I’d guess.
* Their first challenge will be to grow a mustache, like the old Brawny paper towel man. It’s got to be a good gay disco mustache or they’re tossed off of the show. “Anytime, Sal!”
* Surviving on their wits, their ability to eat bugs and rotting carcasses, to fish, build shelter, light fires and make weapons, they must try to not die in the forest. If they have to cuddle with each other to stay warm, so be it.
* If lucky, they will travel from the Yukon to the heart of Alaska where, if their skills of navigation have prevailed, they will arrive at our first checkpoint. Here the macho candidates will fell ten old-growth trees and prepare them for removal from the forest. Ah, but it’s old-sk00l felling! Axes and traditional saws — no power tools. They’ll definitely have to work together as lovers if they want to clear the forest.
* Those who don’t die from the tree felling will continue their trek until they reach our second challenge: To raise and train … Click Here to Read On! …



California Stateland Security


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This is Russ of America, Pharaoh of California, speaking to you, my dear citizens of California. Or potentially to you, my dear potential visitors of California.

 

I’m always thinking of new ways to serve this state, the best state out of all of the states in the United States of American states. I’ve noticed a trend over the last few decades — California has become needlessly congested. Gridlocked traffic on the freeway at 1 o’clock in the morning is inexcusable! The other day I was watching a rerun of the 1970s television program CHiPs and I noticed that Ponch and Jon only had to deal with, like, 8 cars on the entire freeway at any given time. But today, our freeways are clogged virtually every moment of the day. As a result: California is now forced to institute a … Click Here to Read On! …



Cartels “Competely Out Of Hand” – Boycott Foreign Narcotics Already!


President Barack Obama of America recently said, Mexican cartels are “completely out of hand.”

 

I could write a whole thingy about Mexican cartels, but everything you need to know is found at this blog post I wrote weeks ago! I agree with whatever our beloved president of America currently says re: foreign narcotics! And further, I’m encouraging you to do your fucking part and BOYCOTT FOREIGN NARCOTICS already! Insist ONLY upon domestically grown narcotics, fight a good war on terror and drugs, support our domestic economy, get honest American drug dealers back on the streets and do your part to bring up America! Join The Foreign Narcotics Boycott Facebook Group if you want to meet individuals who share your enlightened perspective!

 

 

[c] 2009 Russ of America