Russ Carney of America

Ah yes! Good news! Millions of people around the earth are still asking lots of questions about all-things jackoff! Fortunately they have at their disposal this fine blog as expert resource material. I am a man of integrity, honesty and beard and it is through my beard that I read these questions which top-tier search engines feel are best fielded by me. And thus for the fourth time, I again address your most pressing recent jackoff queries.

Q: jack off-pork
R: First of all, stealing is wrong, so you shouldn’t jack anybody’s off-pork. Secondly, don’t eat off-pork. It’ll make you sick.

Q: can you jack off with external use only
R: Almost exclusively. … Click Here to Read On! …

2 Comments | In: Jackoff Queries | tags: abercrombie, alcohol, assplay, christmas, chronic masurbation, ejaculate, external use only, fitch, goats, granny, homosexuality, jackoff, Jackoff Queries, masturbation, mustard, pantomimes, penis, popular science, pork, rest, retirement home, rip taylor. | #

Thankfully, I get a lot of visitors to my site who are looking for all things jackoff-related. Unthankfully, there are a lot of really stupid people out there who are asking really stupid questions and who don’t quite know how a search engine works. I dunno. Anyway, I’m not trying to be a techno-elitist, so here are my favorite recent jackoff queries, with an emphasis on the stupid-ass queries.

Q: how to jackoff with g-string
R: Beats the hell out of me. Maybe you wrap it around? Seriously, what are you trying to find out?

Q: jackoff tips
R: Are you not having any luck jacking off? I’m not sure how you could fail at the jackoff, but in the interest of fostering an honest academic exchange, … Click Here to Read On! …

No Comments | In: Jackoff Queries | tags: cunniligus, cunnilingus, dismount, driving, elitism, exercise, father, g-string, huge clit, jack off, jackoff, long clit, luck, march of dimes, masturbation, mother teresa, mr rogrs, penis, pillows, queries, stupid-ass, therapy, tips, toilet, working out, yahoo, yahoo answers. | #

Dear Russ of America

I am not ashamed to touch your penis or to put my tongue in your mouth.

Yours affectionately,

Russ of America

[c] 2005 Russ of America

No Comments | In: Well Organized Ideas | tags: fellatio, jackoff, masturbation, mouth, oral sex, penis, self, sex, sexy note, touching. | #