Recently, former Alaskan Governor and future presidential wannabe Sarah Palin was spotted in Hawaii wearing a 2008 McCain presidential campaign visor with McCain’s name blacked-out. “Incognito,” Palin said, was the look she was going for. Because there’s nothing visually peculiar about a woman with a giant blotch of magic marker on her hat, right? Nothing that would make you do a double-take and ask, “What the fuck does that shit say?” And it’s not like Hawaii has any gift shops where a wealthy, famous person could buy a new visor or anything. But she wasn’t dissing John McCain — that’s a fact. When *I* cross out the names of *my* friends, it’s cool because I’m from the WEST side and you’re probably from the EAST side and we both do things differently, right?
Anyhow, I’m not certain Ms. Palin knows what incognito means, so I will take it upon myself to help elucidate through sarcasm, satire and condescending language.
If Palin had completed her first term as Governor of Alaska, it’s conceivable that her undercover state troopers would be super incognito driving this:
First: DO call in favors. If you’re the kind of person who says “you owe me one” but then you never actually get the motherfucker to pay you back, then you are a dipshit. By calling in favors, you dissuade the regular favor-asker from taking advantage of your kindness.
Second: When calling in favors, don’t call in stupid ones.
“Remember when I got you that chick’s phone ? I need you to drive me to Pep Boys.”
That’s a waste of a perfectly good favor.
“Remember when I got you that chick’s phone ? I need you to testify in court that you’re her baby-daddy. Dude – you *OWE* me one.”
