I have created a few great memes.
May they forever haunt your dremes:
I thought it was important that Dionne Warwick finally get her own nostril macro.
NOTE: There is semi-nudity somewhere below this line
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When I was a kid, this was one of the scariest things on television. I used to hide behind the sofa or run into my bedroom when I heard it.
WTF is that evil-looking P-head man? Why is his nose so razor-sharp? What’s with that big dilated sideways eye? He’s going to nab me! And peck me to death with his knife face! WAAHH!!
Creepy music, too! Scary delay, odd atonal symphony.
Yeeks! I’m getting the chills all over again!
I think I should register this with the good folks at http://www.kindertrauma.com/
[c] 2009 Russ of America
This came in the mail recently. The Ashton-Drake Tiny Miracle Emmy So Truly Real Doll.
She only costs $59.99 plus $7.99 shipping and handling, but I do have to wait 10-12 weeks for shipment after I pay them. Fortunately, if I’m strapped on cash I can divide the $59.99 into two payments of $29.99 (Yeah, I would save a penny if I took advantage of their payment plan – how can they afford to stay in business?!) And if I really don’t have any cash, I don’t have to send any money now at all! I can just send back the business reply card and the Ashton-Drake Galleries will reserve a Tiny Miracle Emmy So Truly Real especially for me. Now the real good news is that I have 365 days to decide whether or not I’m completely satisfied! I wonder how she could possibly disappoint me in that span of time. Maybe if she were disobedient and talked back too much.
She feels almost real! Now, the ad says that dolls designed by Linda Webb normally fetch thousands of dollars. I don’t doubt it! My girlfriend collects Super Dollfie 13 ball-jointed-dolls and those mamajammas are expensive. So imagine how fortunate I am to be given the opportunity to buy this 10-inch lifelike doll for only $67.98 out the door. 10-inches and lifelike? Shhh! I don’t want my gal-pal to hear THAT kind of talk if you know what I mean!
I’m having a little trouble here. This thing is suitable for a 3 year-old? As what, a $70 pacifier? And an adult? So like, an undergrad from the nation’s busiest party school would play with this while on spring break? Or maybe a 34 year-old bachelor who lives by himself?
[c] 2009 Russ of America
