Russ Carney of America

Here’s my pitch for the ultimate reality show: MACHO MAN

LAND
* A few dozen guys are thrown into the North American wilderness. Somewhere in the Yukon, I’d guess.
* Their first challenge will be to grow a mustache, like the old Brawny paper towel man. It’s got to be a good gay disco mustache or they’re tossed off of the show. “Anytime, Sal!”
* Surviving on their wits, their ability to eat bugs and rotting carcasses, to fish, build shelter, light fires and make weapons, they must try to not die in the forest. If they have to cuddle with each other to stay warm, so be it.
* If lucky, they will travel from the Yukon to the heart of Alaska where, if their skills of navigation have prevailed, they will arrive at our first checkpoint. Here the macho candidates will fell ten old-growth trees and prepare them for removal from the forest. Ah, but it’s old-sk00l felling! Axes and traditional saws — no power tools. They’ll definitely have to work together as lovers if they want to clear the forest.
* Those who don’t die from the tree felling will continue their trek until they reach our second challenge: To raise and train … Click Here to Read On! …

2 Comments | In: Well Organized Ideas | tags: arrow of light, bear grylls, bering sea, boy scouts of america, bruce parry, coming of age, crab boat, crab fishing, cub scouts, desalination, distillation, dog sledding, firefighters, firefighting, fishing, gay marriage, going tribal, hunting, huskies, ice road, les stroud, lumberjacks, machismo, macho man, mustache, narcotics, navigation, oil drilling rig, opilio crab, outdoors, safety dance, south america, survival, survivorman, trees, tribes, village people, webelos, wilderness, yukon. | #

I have a fairly simple life motto:

Keep It Moist.

It’s a pretty good life motto as far as life mottoes go, I think. Way better than “Look Before You Leap” or some bullshit like that.

Keep It Moist covers a lot of ground. The most important thing if you’re stranded in the middle of nowhere is to find a supply of water. You can last a lot longer without food than you can without water. Want to keep yourself looking young? Keep your skin hydrated by drinking lots of water. Do you binge drink and … Click Here to Read On! …

No Comments | In: Well Organized Ideas | tags: africa, alcohol, alcoholism, binge drinking, famine, feast, keep it moist, kevin costner, moist, moisture, motto, mottoes, pain, pleasure, survival, waterworld, windmills. | #