May 25th, 2009
Ren Faire Motto
Ren Faire:
“Where even the fugly ones will make it into your spank bank.”
[c] 2009 Russ of America
May 17th, 2009
Spending Time With Foreign Television
Whenever I go to an exotic new land such as Belize or Costa Rica, or even just a different city such as San Diego, I like to spend some time with their local television programming. I like to see what kinds of channels they have , what their “Channel 2 1/2 Action News Breaking News” graphics look like and whether or not the … Click Here to Read On! …
March 13th, 2009
Naughty Scrabble Words
I have a weakness: if I’m playing Scrabble and I can spell a naughty word, like sex, dick, cunt or fucker, I’m going to, even if there is another word that will give me quintuple the value of points. Winning isn’t everything to me.
[c] 2009 Russ of America
August 18th, 2008
Send Tits Immediately!
I’m sorry. There is no time to argue or to debate this point, I need you to put whatever tits you have into a box and ship them off to me immediately!
I’d love to stay and chit-chat, but I have a big project that I’m working on and it’s imperative that you send tits post-haste!
Russ of America
August 18th, 2008
The Boobies Are In The Mail
I called FedEx and they have no record of any boobies being shipped to my house. I gave them my work address too and again, no dice.
If the boobies are on their way, please let me know, otherwise I’ll have to sulk, and a sulky Russ of America is not a good Russ of America, especially given my seemingly insurmountable depression.
Russ of America
March 23rd, 2008
Compliments
When I give a lady a compliment, I like to compliment her on something for which she probably doesn’t get a lot of attention. Women know when they have amazing tits and a gorgeous ass and there’s no need to bring that up unless you can’t find any other nice thing to say about her. That’s pretty rare for a woman, so even if you can compliment her on her choice of fabric for the day, that’s a start. Women appreciate a man who notices the minutia, the small details, and if you want to get anywhere with the fairer sex, you have to demonstrate a heightened awareness; Compliment a woman on the qualities for which she gets the least attention, but be genuine. A woman’s self-esteem diminishes when she reads a compliment as counterfeit, and that defeats the purpose.
Here’s a compliment I recently extended to a pretty mocha honey I ran into at work:
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“Hi, I don’t mean to come off as too forward or anything, but I was hoping to pay you a compliment: Your Social Security Number is very symmetrical.”
“You noticed!
“I love how it’s all even numbers and how it increases at the beginning and then decreases at the end. Very sexy.”
“Thank you!”
“You’re welcome.”
“How did you get my Social Security Number?”
“Personnel files. I knew that there was something special about you and I was determined to find out what it was.”
“I am entranced by you.”
Women are usually very insecure about their Social Security Numbers, sometimes going to great lengths to keep them out of the hands of strangers, but if you have access to that information, the outcome of her happiness will justify your methodology.
One caveat about telling a woman something nice: While it’s always tempting to follow up your compliment with some awkward pick-up line, NEVER DO THAT. A compliment is a stand-alone gift. You put it out there, she takes it and it’s a done-deal. Women are like dogs: and while they can’t smell fear, they *are* sensitive to ulterior motives and squirrelly behavior. Pay your compliment and then get the hell out of there. Let her marinate in your good juices.
A Latin honey I am marginally acquainted with got the following royal treatment from me recently:
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“Hi, I don’t mean to come off as too forward or anything, but I was hoping to pay you a compliment: You have an amazing neck.”
“Thank you! I’ve never really liked my neck. I think it’s too long and chunky”
“I completely disagree. Your neck is very taut with a pleasant and consistent texture. It has an even color and very few craggy striations, it smells great and draws my attention away from other women around you. I love the way your neck curves under your jawbone and up toward your ears. It’s regal and it really gives ’base’ to your head.”
“Wow, nobody’s ever complimented me on my neck before.”
“Well, when I notice perfection I feel it’s my duty to say something.”
“Would you like to have coffee some time?”
“No, I should walk away because a compliment is a stand-alone gift.”
“I am entranced by you.”
Do you see the delicious sexual tension I created in this scenario? This woman had a negative belief about her neck which I was easily able to turn around by focusing on her, paying attention to the details and then telling her what I felt. From that point on, whenever she looks at her neck in the mirror, she’s not going to see it as long and chunky, she’s going to look at it as sculpted and sexy. She will remember my compliment and forever think something positive about herself. Bingo.
I met a white/Filipina at a party a few weeks ago and she got a little special attention from me, the master:
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“Hi, I don’t mean to come off as too forward or anything, but I was hoping to pay you a compliment: I really love your blue blouse.”
“Thank you!”
“You’re welcome. What do you call that shade?”
“Turquoise.”
“Turquoise? That sounds very exotic. I also like your vermilion blouse.”
“Vermilion blouse?”
“Yeah, the vermilion blouse you just picked up at Loehman’s yesterday.”
“Wow, we just met tonight, and yet you are attentive enough to know about a blouse I bought yesterday at a store clean across town. That makes your compliment seem more credible!”
“Yeah, the vermilion blouse will be perfect for drawing attention away from your perfect earlobes.”
“You think that I have perfect earlobes?”
“Well now I’m a little embarrassed; Really I just meant to focus on complimenting your blouses; I never meant to get into a whole thing about how perfect your earlobes, elbows and nostrils are.”
“OMG! I’ve always hated my elbows and nostrils! I was going to get surgery!”
“Save your money. Your nostrils are perfectly kidney-shaped and are evenly spaced. And from this angle I can see that your elbow skin is elastic enough to permit free movement, and even with your arm fully extended I see absolutely no wrinkle artifacting. I personally know eight women who would die to have elbows as sexy as yours.”
“I am entranced by you!”
[c] 2008 Russ of America
