Russ Carney of America

I don’t understand this tip-your-mailman-at-Christmas shit.

The mailman never brings me any good news; He only brings me garbage and bills. Sometimes he brings me the latest information about local savings on fresh chicken thighs, but that’s hardly his fault.

I know, I know, I shouldn’t shoot the messenger. So I won’t! I will NOT shoot the mailman. But if you can’t SHOOT the messenger, you also shouldn’t have to TIP the messenger.

Anyhow, I have a moral objection to tip any government employee who can’t either get me out of jail or legalize something, and who has a retirement plan and full medical. Maybe I’ll give him some chicken thighs.

[c] 2009 Russ of America

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I called FedEx and they have no record of any boobies being shipped to my house.  I gave them my work address too and again, no dice.

If the boobies are on their way, please let me know, otherwise I’ll have to sulk, and a sulky Russ of America is not a good Russ of America, especially given my seemingly insurmountable depression.

Russ of America

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