A loyal reader of 400% More Jackoff Magic has asked me for some advice. He queries:
Dear Mr. Carney of America,
If I get really drunk and wake up with a penis in my mouth, am I gay? Yeah, ok, that’s pretty gay, but what if it’s a female penis?
Confused from Oklahoma
Dear Oklahoma,
I want to remind you of legendary Led Zeppelin drummer, John Bonham. He woke up one morning from a night of heavy drinking with a pool of vomit in his mouth. But you know what? … Click Here to Read On! …
If you are feeling nauseated and decide to eat something anyway, remember to chew your food very, very well so it doesn’t hurt as much when you inevitably puke your guts out.
There’s nothing quite like passing a chunk of hamburger up through your sinuses and out your nose.
