Tag Archive for war

Russ of America On: The Dream Act

It is an affront to reason that an illegal immigrant can’t earn citizenship in the United States by serving honorably in our nation’s military. The DREAM Act suggested 2 years, but I propose a full 4 years. That should be the fast-track to citizenship! And I’m not talkin’ ’bout a romantic sunset beach patrol at Point Mugu, I’m talking about Read more

The War On Terror

I was reading an article on CNN.com today and I made the mistake of browsing the comment section. Some dude posted, “There is no compromise with any Terrorist organization until they are fully eliminated from the world, then we can have a peaceful life.” [sic] I assume that he wrote these words with a straight face. There is no doubt in my mind that the poster believes it is possible to remove all terrorist organizations from the world.


Cool. So how does that belief system work exactly? How do you fight terror? With guns? If someone’s terrorizing you, and you go kill them with guns, aren’t you terrorizing them back? Haven’t you now doubled the terror in the world? Before you rage on me, you should know that I’m just processing the argument literally. I’m not placing a value judgment on revenge, because hey, I think revenge is pretty awesome. I often practice something I call “pre-venge” in anticipation of you screwing me over. So like if I have a reasonable belief that you’re about to do something uncool to me, I might pre-venge you by doing something uncool first in order to prevent you from doing it to me. A-HA! Tactics!


Terror is an emotion, like anger or hate. No matter what progress you make, there’s always some yahoo who’s angry at something or who hates something. Like me. I hate lots of things. The smell of puppies is a good example; I hate the smell of puppies. Puppies are fun, puppies are cute, but I hate the way they smell — bitter and dirty. It’s not a rational hatred like the hatred of western civilization, but it’s a hatred nonetheless. So how do you fight an irrational hatred? Yeah, you could force me to attend puppy odor sensitivity classes or you could bomb my house, but does that solve the problem? There’s always going to be someone out there who hates the smell of puppies.


What the hell was I talking about?



[c] 2010 Russ of America


Answers To Your Jackoff Queries 5

The world’s most popular search engines send me tons of visitors who have tons of jackoff-related questions. Here are more examples of their helpless queries and my helpful replies:


Q: can i jackoff into your ass
R: No.


Q: how to suppress urge to jackoff
R: Try rubberbands.


Q: how to jackoff more than once
R: That’s easy — Jerk off a second time.


Q: can you get skinny if you jack off alot Read more

NORAD Tracks Santa


Yes, ha ha ha… a happy annual event put on by the United States military… ha ha ha… Fun, frolic and merriment! ha ha ha…


Each year the United States Federal Government, fueled by the holiday spirit, instructs NORAD, The North American Aerospace Defense Command, to uses its highly sophisticated electronic war technology to Read more


If we don’t want to lose the Internet, all the countries are going to have to be friends.



[c] 2006 Russ of America